The big problem is, what do I write to him that would even sound slightly convincing?
Dear Mayor,
I wanted to thank you for keeping Edison in tip top shape, and I want to send my condolences for not winning the Democratic race to be our mayor for next year. The big question here is, I wanted to know if you'd be interested in allowing me to form a zombie walk. Thank you.
Then I'd get an interview with him. And this is how it would go.
Mayor: Hi Arthur, how's it going?
Me: Good, gre...
Mayor: (cutting Me off), anyways, I had gotten your letter about the Zombie march?
Me: Zombie walk, it's a walk...
Mayor: (cutting Me off again), whatever it is, it sounds kind of extreme, and violent. what is it?
Me: It's where a bunch of people dress up like zombies, and they walk from destination to destination, kind of just giving people the willy's.
Mayor: Is there a purpose to this?
Me: to have fun?
Mayor: So this is just an irrelevant waste of time?
Me: YOU'RE AN IRRELEVANT WASTE OF TIME!
Haha, okay that wouldn't really be how it happens, but I can imagine just an extreme awkward looks on his face and him possibly saying no. I mean it would make more sense to do it around halloween time to make it even less crazy. My townships really old school and lazy when it comes to township projects.
I'll think of something and invite everyone! I'm sure if I get donations and give them to the township to help them plant another tree somewhere, they'd love it. We don't fix parks, baseball fields, ponds, roadways, or anything that's relevant in this town. Instead, we spend all of our township money on planting a tree somewhere. Two months later, right where that very tree is planted, we knock down the trees anyway and build condominium complex. This town is retarded.
That's all for now, keep surviving.
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