I've been in this... disaster? tragedy? end of the world? for about 10 days now. Just like all of those zombie movies I've watched over the years, everything is panning out to be what all of those writers had imagined it would be. They were perfect on the part where a lot of the towns turned into ghost towns, and I was able to go to any store and take what I want for free. The only problem with that is, no one is on Xbox Live right now playing Left 4 Dead 2 or Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2... Those people are living the video game life now, aren't they? What's the point of a cell phone when people are dead or the satellites aren't being controlled? No television to watch shows because there was no one programming a station. This really sucked.
What might be a battle for survival for some people is more like a battle to beat starvation! Just like the flesh eating zombies who are constantly dealing with hunger, I'm on the road trying to find the food that isn't outdated and edible. Spaghettios and Chef Boyardee were considered first class air line delicacies to me. Of course canned goods and preserved meats were the best thing going right now. It sucks that milk doesn't last very long so I enjoyed my cereal as much as I could before those gallons filled with lumps.
So what is my purpose for writing this memoir? Honestly I found a guys Macbook (not air or pro, the shitty one) and I wanted to test it out. I've heard about a million and one different things about Macbooks, and when I saw this one I figured I might as well give it a try being that I had no plans for the rest of the day, or for the rest of humanity for that matter. I was always a PC guy, maybe the zombie apocalypse would turn me into a MAC! I figured I'd write about what's going on just incase something happens of course. Maybe someone will find it some day and see that ZA (Zombie Apocalypse) existed. I'm also just writing this to take my mind off of things. It helps the days go by faster.
What have I been doing for 10 days you ask?
Well the first day I pretty much slept through attacks. That's the awesome thing about living in my friends attic (besides being asbestos free). Here at Rutgers Campus in New Brunswick, New Jersey, there's a lot of kids who need to find a place to live during the school year. I didn't actually go to school there... well no one does now, but you get my point. I was kicked out of my parents house for smoking too much weed and I'm kind of hoping the zombies got those two assholes. I just called my parents assholes, but hear me out. My mom left my father and I a long time ago. What I later found out is that it was because he was cheating on her with some arrogant whore. He married her, he hated me, she hated me, end of story. I hope they filled the bellies of two starving flesh eaters. I'm not going back for them.
I slept through some of the chaos because I was baked from the night before. I usually turn the stereo on blast cause I hated hearing my roommate Jim and his girlfriend fucking every night right below. I felt like Jesus because I was above them and hearing everything they said to each other... even the little things like Jim saying, "Next time I'll pull out in time." That's a phone a call he'll be glad to never hear.
I came down from the attic, and I walked into the living room and all I saw were body parts including Jim's. That's one way to not become a father. I kind of freaked out but then went into the kitchen to get some Waffle Crisp. We didn't have any milk so I took a drive over to the closest 7-11 and there was just mayhem upon mayhem. There were people being chased by zombies, and being eaten by zombies too. I had seen one of my other roommates get mauled and for some reason I just laughed. He was the douche bag who stuck my head in the toilet bowl after he took a dump when I was drunk. Talk about karma. I could have easily done it to him, but no, he had to have his flesh eaten away from his bones by a zombie... oh well..
I started driving with no intention on going back to Rutgers or any place. I ended up going North about an hour and a half to two hours to the town of West Milford. There was a little shopping mall next to a hotel and that's where I've been hiding out all of these days. There are a bunch of families living in here but no one on the outside knows it. I took this MAC from the Best Buy that was in the shopping mall along with an iPod and every CD that I wanted.
My neighbor George next door completely robbed Dicks Sporting Goods of every weapon and ammo that they had. This guy was fucking CRAZY!!!!! He's a very cool person though. He always goes out and brings back food for him, his 5 girlfriends, and I. Yes believe it or not, he's still managing to be a pimp in this zombie apocalypse. He's a big dude and I mean muscular. Ex body builder and believe it or not, a children's book writer. I've never felt safer in my entire life.
Anyhow, George said were gathering a few people and moving out of this place. He said that there's way too many zombies that have been running around here. He managed to get a school bus for anyone that wanted to tag along. I think he said he wanted to leave in two days. Where we were going? I have no idea, but I trust George. He had left me a present on my coffee table in the hotel room. It was a Desert Eagle... I'm guessing I might need this where were going?
Well that's all for now. I will write in this when we arrive at the next destination, if that's anywhere.
Lucas Jones
