DO YOU HAVE A PLAN?

People who are smart and creative are usually good at planning things in life. They can plan birthday party's, weddings, communions, bar and bat mitzvah's, etc... But can they plan out a safe and effective zombie outbreak mission? Probably not. It's definitely rocket science to some people who usually doubt the fact that zombies will take over the world. That's fine, have fun thinking your minivan is a safe place for your little kiddies. In fact, bring a spatula to defend yourself, zombies hate a good spatulin.

SO! Do you have a plan? If you live in my town of Edison, New Jersey you do. Planning isn't as simple as you think. People watch a lot of zombie films and assume it's all about finding a building that's open to hide in. In some ways they are right but certain buildings have more usage to them than others.

I've created a point system off the top of my head that probably doesn't make any sense at all but whatever, let's give it a go.


The main thing's that are needed when trying to survive are:

Food
Weapons
Medical
Livable
Entertainment
Transportation

Now the point system is rated from 1 - 5 of these things #. Of course 5 being the highest.


WALMART

Food: #####
Weapons: ##
Medical: #####
Livable: #####
Entertainment: #####
Transportation: ##

The Word
Walmart is a great place all around to be during a zombie outbreak. They have a shit load of food especially if you can make it to one of those super duper Walmarts with the fucking food store inside too. The weapons are limited in the Jersey Walmarts. We do not have guns or anything that is explosive. Were forced to use knives and any lawn or sports items to defend ourselves. Medical is up of course because of the pharmacy and medical goods. Entertainment is key during an outbreak. If you're positive the zombies aren't able to come in, then it's okay to watch Airbud or the Jonas Brothers dvd's. Transportation meaning, 18 wheeler trucks that were left in the shipping area.


Ok So Walmart got a score of 24 our of 30. That's pretty good. If the place doesn't have more than 20 points then it's not worth the risk. If it's 19 points and you're desperate, it's understandable.

Let's try a few more.

Home Depot

Food: ###
Weapons: #####
Medical:
Livable: ###
Entertainment:
Transportation: ###

The Word:
It has a Nathan's in some of the Home Depot's near me so you'll be able to get refreshments, but not for long. You have all the weapons you need minus guns. Nail guns, axes, saws, and just about the most unimaginable ways to slaughter those dead fucks. It's an untraditional blessing in disguise. It's not really livable unless you can build a bed. But they have bathrooms and it is a big place. Transportation because they have trucks there. Unfortunately with 14 points, you're better off just passing by.


OKay, I'll do one more and then you can do this on your own.


Sports Authority:

Food: ##
Weapons: #####
Medical: #
Livable: ####
Entertainment: #####
Transportation: ##

The Word:
The food situation isn't good at all but at least there is some sort of food there. They have all those sports bars and sports drinks there to keep fit and full. The weapons I gave 5 thingy's because if you haven't noticed, Sports Authority has an infinite selection of rifles, shotguns, and hand guns. They also have bows and arrows along with a complete selection of hunting knives. If you want a challenge at killing zombies then you can head on over to the hockey, baseball, or golf selection and select a weapon of your choice too. Hopefully you can find the key that unlocks the big trigger lock that they put on the guns. The medical is shit, there's probably only sports bandages. It's definitely livable! Blow up your air mattress and grab a tent, it could be a long while before you feel the comfort of your own home bed. Entertainment if you're athletic. Transportation trucks, again.

The point of the point system is to help map out true destinations. It can help you avoid shitty places that have no purpose in your survival. Also, if your town is safe enough to do some light traveling, it's never a bad idea to go from place to place gather items and bringing them back to your temporary safe home.

My Plan in a nutshell

Gather the ones I love most.

Get vehicles to transport to destination.

Find a few 18 wheeler trucks.

Split people up in those trucks.

Truck 1: Sports Authority: Guns, Ammunition, Weapons of sorts, air mattresses, and communication devices (walkie talkies)

Truck 2: Finding a safe spot

Rendevue (hoping cell phones are still working at this point)

Each state has enough Walmarts to accommodate everyone. Luckily for me there is a Costco and a Walmart right next to each other. My team will stop there and build a safe bridge that will connect to both places.



That was a shitty quick run through of the Edison Plan. One day I'll post it on here for people to read. I think I mentioned before in earlier posts that I actually wanted to present it to the mayor of my town but I was scared that they might throw me in the looney bin... Which I'd rather be in than a house... Zombies can't bite through bars.

Who are they really punishing then?

Suckers.

Keep surviving world.