Movie Review: Zombies of Mass Destruction

First! I did mention that I was going to be doing movie reviews. I will talk about the good and the bad of each film. At the end of each movie I will rate it. I have created a rating system just now and it's pretty simple:

I will use brains instead of stars.

@ <-- (imagine it's a brain for now until I learn new graphing tricks)

@ = One of the shittiest zombies ever.

@@= I've seen shittier. Definitely worth the illegal download.

@@@= Decent flick.

@@@@= FUCKING KICK ASS MOVIE!

@@@@@= ONE OF THE BEST FUCKING KICK ASS ZOMBIE MOVIES EVER!!!

I think that's a pretty fair rating.

ZOMBIES OF MASS DESTRUCTION

Horror films in general have failed miserably for a long time now. There are movies that are considered scary because they have a few jump scenes in them and it usually has some kind of shitty plot... blah blah blah. A lot of the better zombie movies the past few years have had known actors in them, for example:

Simon Baker in Land of the Dead

Dennis Hopper in Land of the Dead

Vhing Rhames in Dawn of the Dead

Woody Harrelson in Zombieland

Cillian Murphy in 28 Days Later

I think you get the point.

I'm not saying known actors are a secret solid solution to making a good horror film, it just helps... a little. There are known actors through out the horror world that aren't really known through out Hollywood. Certain actors don't need the all around fame and that's what makes them awesome.

I was sketchy with Shaun of the Dead because I didn't know who those guys were but it ended up being one of my favorites of all time. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost kind of helped me out with a personal grudge I had against unknown actors and shit horror films.

I saw Zombies of Mass Destruction at Wal-Mart and I was curious to see it because on the cover it claimed that it was right up there with Shaun of the Dead (which I knew was bullshit from the beginning but I hadn't seen anything new with zombies in a long time so I bought it). Zombies of Mass Destruction is a part the "8 Films to Die For" After Dark Horror Fest 4 collection. I really don't pay no mind to those movies cause I get them confused with the Masters of Horror collection (which I absolutely hated). So with this being my first one ever, I gave it a shot.

To start off this review, all I'm going to say is that if you're a republican you're probably not going to like this movie.

The story takes place on this island called Port Gamble in Washington. There are a few main characters in this movie. You have the Iranian girl who often gets mistaken for being Iraqi and a terrorist. Then you have the gay couple who come back to the island so the one gay guy could come out of the closet in front of his mother.

The Iranian girl lives next door to a bunch of red necks people. The red neck family encourages their son to talk to her. During the outbreak all of the news stations were saying that zombie outbreak could have been an act of terrorism so immediately the close minded red neck people assumed she was part of the problem and tried to kill her.

The gay couple end up leaving the one guys house because his mom turns into a zombie. They end up at a real Catholic church who try to convert them to become straight.

I won't spoil anything else but it goes to show how dumb founded people really are. The director seemed to have a hard time piecing this movie together. I understand the point they were trying to get across about republicans and some of their racist and anti gay antics. They did it with zombies which is cool.

The gore in this movie is unbelievably awesome. I loved the blood, guts and gore. From peoples faces being ripped off to all of their limbs being ripped off. It was all there.

Choice of weapons in this movie were decent. There were hand guns and shotguns of course. I think the coolest weapon that was used was a machete (Voorhees style). The sound effects were completely lame though. When the Iranian girls father was hacking people to death with the machete it just made like a thud noise. They made a weed whacker look deadly in this movie... no, just no.

Hmm what else...

The ending was typical. I didn't expect anything out of the ordinary, especially since the movie had no real direction.

RATING: @@1/2

I'll give it two and a half brains for the gore, and the semi good acting. If you're a real zombie fan I think you should watch it at least one time. Don't buy it unless it's in a bargain bin.

That's all folks.

Keep Surviving.