So the title has nothing to do with what I'm about to write. There is no outburst, and I'm pretty sure that no one is going to be crying. Even if I did cry, crying is okay. What the fuck am I talking about?
OKAY, so I got a chance to see the remake of, "A Nightmare on Elm Street." Before I saw this movie, I was part of the whole skeptical group of old school Freddy fans, and didn't care to see the remake especially if Robert Englund wasn't playing Freddy. I was 100% sure that no one in this entire world was able to pull of the boogeyman other than Mr. Englund. Some movie parts are just made for one person. Once those shoes are filled, it's really unlikely that you're going to find anyone else who can do the job just the same. It's like when Michael Keaton played Batman. I was so used to him being the Dark Knight, and then assholes like Val Kilmer and George Clooney came along and destroyed it. Kilmer wasn't terrible, but Michael Keaton was the fucking man.
There's an overwhelming trend in movies today where old school classics are being reborn constantly. It's definitely struck the horror scene more so than any other genre. There's also a common trend in a lot of the old school horror fans hating on the remakes. I'm pretty much a self proclaimed hater on most horror remakes.
REMAKE THOUGHTS:
THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: I didn't hate it, thought it was just okay. I really enjoyed Robert Lee Emery's part as the Sheriff. That guy is awesome.
FRIDAY THE 13: Sucked. I can't believe I bought that movie. I got the box set for Christmas last year and that eased the pain.
THE AMITYVILLE HORROR: I thought this movie was actually pretty good. I'm a fan of the Amityville legend, and that movie definitely fit in.
THE CRAZIES: This movie wasn't terrible. I'm pretty happy I downloaded it over spending the $20 on blu-ray. It's definitely a movie to watch if you haven't seen the original. The plot is cool especially with the whole plane in the marsh thing.
A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET
For once in my life, I really don't have anything negative to say except... why is Freddy all of a sudden a fucking pedophile? Like through out the movie they made it clear as fucking day that he did sexual things with Nancy when she was 5 years old. Apparently Wes Craven wanted to make him a rapist in the original movie but ended up not doing it due to current world issues at the time. I think it kind of puts a bad name on Freddy in a way. I liked it the way it was when he was just a child murderer, and the he killed all these kids.
I won't say I'm a fan of the remake but I definitely won't put it down. The dude who played the new Freddy had big shoes to fill and I gotta say he did a decent job. Freddy's new look is kind of down syndromish? Don't mean to offend anyone, but that's just the unintentional ignorant impression that I got. The voice was awesome. There were a few jokes here and there, but overall it wasn't terrible.
Of course the no name actors and actresses led to some mediocre acting.
Don't ignore the movie if you're a fan of the old one. It's not even that long. Rent it on Netflix, Blockbuster, iTunes, whatever. No one says you have to buy it.
It was definitely better than the Friday the 13th remake, that is totally for sure.
So I was Googling horror movie remakes that are coming up, and I'm kind of shocked at what I found.
FUTURE REMAKES
CHILDS PLAY: I've talked about this before. I think it's a good idea. The dude who does Chuckies voice is returning and that's pretty much all that matters with this remake. I feel as if Child's Play was cheated out of good sequels. The first two movies were the only ones watching. The rest of them were just made to make some money. I think a remake and a darker story can really turn that Good Guy Doll into a murdering masterpiece. The horror scene needs a good thrasher story. Let's hope they do it.
EVIL DEAD: Yes and no... I'm gonna say no. A big no. Chances are Bruce won't be back to play his young gorgeous Ash character... If it ain't Bruce, it ain't happening.
THE GATE: Are you kidding me? That movie is fine right where it is. Those little monkey goblinites that come from that little hole cannot be replace with computer digitalized cgi monkey goblinites... fuck no to this!
PEOPLE UNDER THE STAIRS: Loved this movie as a kid. Just watched it a few months back. It definitely doesn't need to be remade... leave it alone.
POLTERGEIST: This is probably number 32 on the Worst Ideas of All Time list. This movie was more than just a story line. The actors and actresses had such unique roles that trying to find people that share the same unique characteristics is going to take a life time. Who's gonna play the midget psychic lady? or Carol Ann? or Kane? All of those people had something eerie about them.
SCREAM: So let me get this rumor straight. On the interwebs, it says that they are not only making a new Scream, but it's going to be a whole new reboot starring the same actors? How does that work? Why was Scream even considered a horror movie to begin with? Fuck that. I hated the Scream movies. Fuck you and don't make anymore. STOP! Okay I'm done with this.
Now the last movie that's in the works of being rebooted is a movie that I have grown up with and loved for a very long time. I'm talking about the movie IT starring Tim Curry as the evil Pennywise the dancing clown. Why does this movie need a remake? That's a good question! If you ask me, I'd say you're fucking retarded. The one and only thing about the movie/book was at the end when he turns into a fucking Spider. That pissed me off. All of this clown evilness and it ends up just being one big ugly fucking spider. But I guess that's what makes the movie so... different? Besides, Jonathan Brandis is in that movie. Don't piss on his legacy haha. LEAVE IT ALONE!
